Thought - 9/11

I was planning on avoiding this subject today, not even mentioning it or blogging about it or even thinking about it too much.  But I don't think I can ignore it.  September 11th is a big deal in this country, even twelve years after the event, and most people I know have it on their minds in some fashion.  So here are my thoughts.

In 2001 I was seventeen.  I had just graduated high school & my life wasn't really headed anywhere important.  I was cynical, angry, irresponsible; not too different than a lot of teens, a lot of people for that matter.  And when 9/11 happened I wasn't heartbroken.  It didn't really affect my small existence.  The only changes that I really saw were flags everywhere, IROCs with bumper stickers, and a surge of American pride.  I didn't really feel that proud at the time, I felt jaded more than anything.  So for years I took the asshole approach to that tragedy and any others that followed.

I like to think that I've grown a little bit since that time.  I'm twenty-nine now, I'm married, I have two kids, I'm a responsible guy.  I'm a lot less cynical, or at least a lot less angry, than I used to be.  My first reaction to something is not to call it stupid, to bash it, to knock it down.  I try to look at both sides of issues more now than I used to.  I would say that the greatest lesson I've learned since "growing up" is that there is very little black & white, most everything is gray.  So when the anniversary of 9/11 comes around each year I feel less & less smart-assy and more sad.  Just thinking about all the lives that were lost, the terror that people must have felt who were there or who had family involved, the complete horror involved.  My life remains fairly unaffected and empathy is not one of my strong suits, but I do feel a small amount more compassion than I used to when I was young and even more self-centered than I am today.

That said, and here it comes, I feel like I am in an even better position to judge the people that make a farce out of this anniversary every year then I was when I was angry & judgmental.  Then I was an absolutist who make judgments easily.  Now I try to take in the big picture, but I still find the USA chanters to be completely ridiculous and non-helpful.  A friend wrote on Facebook "Let's all agree to think thrice before sending/ posting/ "Liking" anything 9/11-related that rings of redneckery/ Islamophobia/ boosterism or bumper-sticker design contests." and I couldn't have said it better myself.  It's the people who have turned a tragedy into a circus that deserve the ire of the people.  They did it twelve years ago and they continue to do it today, and that's taking something awful and using it as a tool for their own agenda.  Those people are the ones who lack compassion.

We'll see a lot of 9/11 posts on Twitter, Facebook, and blogs today.  I think the best thing we can do is to remember that it was an actual event, something that affected real people and changed their lives forever.  It wasn't something that should be used to promote your personal beliefs.  It wasn't something you should be high on and using to feel a part of something bigger.  People died, and for some really stupid reasons, ones that we should try to learn some lessons from, instead of turning the entire thing into yet another colored ribbon.

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Thought - Oscar Predictions

Of course it's too early to make Oscar predictions; the nominees are months away from being announced.  Some of what may be the best films of the year haven't even come out yet.  But that doesn't mean we can't talk about it anyway and make guesses based on almost nothing.  At the very least, here is a list of movies that deserve a watch, as they might be in the Oscar conversation soon.

This is the Indiewire.com ranking of top possible Academy Award contenders:

1. 12 Years a Slave
2. Gravity
3. Inside Llewyn Davis
4. Rush
5. August: Osage County
6. Saving Mr. Banks
7. American Hustle
8. The Wolf of Wall Street
9. The Monuments Men
10. Captain Phillips
11. The Butler
12. Blue Jasmine
13. Nebraska
14. Fruitvale Station
15. All Is Lost
16. Prisoners
17. Foxcatcher
18. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
19. Her
20. Philomena
21. Labor Day
22. Mud
23. Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
24. Before Midnight
25. Ain't Them Bodies Saints

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Thought - Going Green

I'm no hippie, but I try to do my part.  In Death to Smoochy Ed Norton is always saying, "You can't change the world, but you can make a dent."  A silly movie, sure, but a pretty relevant quote.  I'm not saving the planet with the "green" things that I'm doing, but I am making a very small difference.

I use a reel mower.  That's the kind you see people in the 50s pushing around.  When it came time to buy one, there were so many reasons to not buy a gas mower and so many reasons to buy a reel.  1) It only cost $99.  2) It uses no gas and no oil.  3) It's a great way to get exercise.  4) My kids can be around and I don't have to worry about horrible accidents.  And 5) It makes no noise.  When I'm out on a beautiful summer evening there is nothing that annoys me more than the extremely loud roar of my neighbors riding lawn mower that seems useless in his 12' by 12' yard.

I do cloth diapers.  Again, there weren't enough reasons to do disposable, and so many reasons to do cloth.  1) Its costs about $200 to diaper your child for their entire life.  2) It's more comfortable and less irritating to their skin.  3) You get WAY less blowouts.  And 4) It may actually help them to potty train earlier than a child in disposables.

I recycle.  With the new programs that many cities offer, there's really no excuse not to.  They often provide a bin, pickup, and disposal.  All you have to do is seperate your trash and they do the rest.  Some places there is more work involved, like driving your recycling to a designated location, but every load of recycling is one less load going into a landfill.

My point is, there are a ton of small ways that you can make a small difference.  I don't do everything I can to "save the planet", but I try to find a couple viable options that I know I can do.  It only takes a little extra effort; pushing the mower yourself, washing diapers every few days, taking the time to separate your garbage.  But this little effort is actually making a difference; small, but real.  We can all find one or two ways to contribute, it's not that hard, it's not going to kill us, and it just might matter.

I watched a documentary once called No Impact Man.  A family tried to have zero environmental impact & no carbon footprint for one year.  It was hard, it was work, but they did it.  And the lesson they learned was that it is nearly impossible for us to give up everything in today's modern society.  They tried to live without toilet paper and a refrigerator.  And while they survived, they saw these things as conveniences that they couldn't live without.  But they also discovered many things that they could give up; hours in front of the TV, car rides short distances, wasted spending.  And what I took away from the movie is that we don't need to be hippies in order to make a small difference.  We can all make tiny sacrifices in a few areas of our lives, put in a little extra muscle & time,  and it just might add up to something big.

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Thought - Flattr

So today I signed up for a Flattr account and connected it to my blog.  What is Flattr, you most definitely ask?  I just heard about it myself and just started with it, so maybe going to their website (Flattr.com) will be more helpful, but I'll try my best to explain.

Flattr is a micro-donation website made to support bloggers, artists, web designers, whatever.  People who are frequent blog/site visitors and want to support the content can donate small amounts of money to the creator by signing up with Flattr.  You make a budget, say $10 a month.  You go to different websites and "like" them, similar to liking something on Facebook.  Then, at the end of the month, your $10 is split between all the sites you "liked" and those creators get a little bit of money to held keep their website running.  So basically it's a way for small sites to make some cash without using advertising.

Now, I signed my blog up for Flattr with the hope that I too might get some "likes" from people who are already donators.  I'm not soliciting you all to sign up for Flattr and give me money.  I mean, you can if you want, be my guest, but I'm using it really as a tool to have my blog seen, because now I'm on the Flattr database and people who already use it can find me, hopefully enjoy my site, and give me a little bit of money.  We'll see, but it was free and it could be fun.

Thanks to Vanimal for telling my about Flattr, and thanks to you all for supporting 111 Archer Avenue with your visits and your time.  I hope you're enjoying reading what I have to say and checking out my reviews.  By this time next year I hope to be a part of a film critic association and perhaps have my own independent website.  Keep reading & commenting, I'm having a great time posting.

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Thought - 111 Archer Avenue

So I'm back from vacation.  Posts were a little erratic, but tomorrow I'll be back in the groove.  I've got a couple book reviews lined up, and two children's movies to review, plus movie trailers as always.  I haven't written many sports posts in a while, but with football season coming up I'm ready to talk about the NFL.  I was wondering, what's your favorite topic to read about here?  Sports, movies, books, random thoughts?  Let me know; I want my readers to be happy.

I'm going to let the You Vote, I Review selections run for another week, so feel free to vote for your favorite and it will be reviewed shortly.  Any other suggestions or comments, feel free to voice your opinions, I'd love to hear from you.  The next step for the blog is to move it to a website, get some advertising & advertisers and see what it can become.  Thank you everyone for your support, and I hope you're enjoying 111 Archer Avenue!

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Thought - The 4th of July

I missed a post yesterday; I was celebrating the 4th with my wife's family. I tried to keep up with blogging during vacation, but it was not as easy as I'd imagined. Anyway, Happy Holiday to everyone, hope you're having a good summer. I'll be back on schedule by Monday at the latest.

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Thought - Grass

Why are we so obsessed with our grass?  What is so important about A) having a lawn of grass around our house and 2) keeping it well manicured?  Why did I just spend two hours mowing and trimming my yard?  And why does it feel so good when I look outside and see it?

It just doesn't make any sense.  Green is just a color.  Grass is just a plant.  But we like to see stretches of close-cropped lawn laid out before us.  There must be some hard-wiring inside humans, at least modern Americans, that makes us desire this aesthetic.  There are a couple reasons I can think of, perhaps none of which are true.

1. We want to feel one with nature.  In our increasingly urban lives, we see less and less nature.  Perhaps that's why we enjoy going to parks, watching on nature trails, going camping, and even looking at our yards.  Maybe the grass makes us feel that much closer to nature, which we miss when we're inside out houses and office buildings.
2. It's a status symbol.  Rich people can afford big yards.  They have trees, nice lawns, even ponds, lakes, ocean views.  And perhaps we desire that, we want to be like the wealthy people with the money to make even the outside of their houses look spotless.
3. No one likes to be judged.  I know I mow sometimes because I know it's getting high and I'm afraid someone will comment on my yard.  It's embarrassing when your grass is really high and people come over.  I don't know why, but it is, and perhaps we're all competing with each other to see who can mold the nicest backyard.

So, whatever the reason, when I stop to think about it I feel a little silly putting that much time and effort into keeping my grass looking nice.  I mean, so what if it was a yard of dirt, or blacktop, or sand?  If everyone started paving their backyards, would that start to feel normal?  Or would we desire trees and water and greenery and nature even more than we already do?

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Thought - Father's Day

If you read my Mother's Day post, you know how I feel about Father's Day too, so I won't repeat myself.  Let me just say Happy Father's Day to all those fathers who love and are present for their children.  I was lucky enough to have a great dad, one who played with me, included me, and never made me feel small; I'm very thankful for that.  I also have the best father-in-law a guy could ask for, as well as friends who show every day how much they care about their kids.  So, have a great day all you wonderful fathers out there.

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Thought - Prayer

First off, I love the state of Colorado.  I have friends & family there, I've visited & found it to be extremely beautiful, and I even root for their sports teams.  And I actually really like this logo.  It catches the eye, it incorporates Broncos colors, and states its message clearly.  Whoever started the Pray For Colorado campaign knew what they were doing.  What I have an issue with is the idea of prayer, and this happens to be a clear example.

Let's assume this message comes from a Christian viewpoint.  That's the major religion in the US, broken down into many different sects and denominations.  So Christians in Colorado are asking other Christians to pray for them.  Sounds fine, but why?  What's the point?  What can prayer possibly do?  We'll put aside the idea that God may not exist at all, cause these people obviously think he does, and we'll just focus on the question of prayer.

Many times in the Bible it is stated that God knows all.  He knows every single person that will ever live on Earth before they are born, he knows what all his works will be, and he's basically omniscient.  So it's not like praying to God is going to alert him to the fact that there's a wildfire in Colorado.  God doesn't need Twitter to get news; he has always known.  And he's not going to save animals, trees, and neighborhoods because people pray and ask him to; he's got that all planned out, for all we know that wildfire has a purpose in the greater scheme of things.  You're not going to sway God one way or the other by just asking for something.  So then, what's the purpose of prayer, if God already has things decided?

And there's the problem; putting your religion into something physical messes up what you're actually trying to say.  What people really want is for others to think about them, to empathize with them, and maybe to help them out a little.  So why not just say that?  Why not just say, "Hey, Colorado is going through some tough times, what with the shootings we had and all these wildfires.  We could use a little support, cause we feel a little alone out here."  That would be so much more honest, and it wouldn't bring up the question of whether God might actually plan for horrible things to happen.  That's a topic for another day, if we ever figure out whether or not he's really up there.  But for now, I think we can assume that God doesn't change his mind because a photo gets a million FaceBook likes, or a million prayers for that matter.  Praying is fairly pointless without action, and ironically it seems to be the action that usually gets things done.

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Thought - Memorial Day

I think people might be a little bit confused.  About half of the people who have made some sort of Memorial Day post, tweet, or comment seem to think that we're celebrating veterans.  No, that would be Veteran's Day.  This is Memorial Day, a day that apparently 50% of the people in my fake Internet life don't know anything about.  I'm not claiming to be a historian, but all it takes is a little Wikipedia search to find out what the meaning of the holiday is.  And for those who don't think that Wikipedia is a credible source, you can look the same facts up somewhere else that's more scholarly.

Memorial Day is a day to remember all those who died while a part of the United States Armed Forces.  It started after the Civil War and was first called Decoration Day.  Sounds nice, and honestly I don't have a cynical anger toward this particular holiday.  I wouldn't want to be in the military.  I'd be afraid that I would die, and I don't care about enough people to make that sacrifice.  It amazes me that some people actually want to serve their country more than they want to stay home.  And I respect those people for doing what I don't want to.  It makes it that much more tragic when they die, because they were being fairly selfless.  So, thanks to those who have died to protect the interests of the country that I was lucky enough to be born in, even though you're dead and can't read this.

However (and you knew this was coming), let's not get ahead of ourselves and imagine that the American military is a troupe of do-gooders running around the world holding back the tides of tyranny.  Our armies support our positions, our allies, keep our money safe, and fight off threats to our oil.  We can and should be thankful for that, because we enjoy living in a rich and powerful country, but we can't forget that a life is a life, and that our soldiers kill as well as die.  They made a sacrifice for us, but often than sacrifice came at a cost to someone else as well.  So let's try to remember that while we remember out fallen countrymen.

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Thought - Les Miserables

Today, thanks to the babysitting of my in-laws, my wife and I went on a date to downtown Columbus.  We went out to lunch at El Arepazo, a great hole-in-the-wall Latin restaurant that I highly recommend.  Then we visited the Ohio Statehouse and went to the Ohio theatre to see Les Mis.  It was an amazing show.  I haven't seen the movie yet because I was waiting to see the play, but I can't imagine how the film could compare to the stage version.  Excellent music, an amazing atmosphere, and a story that I will remember.  Do yourself a favor and try to find a Broadway Across America performance of Les Mis.

Anyway, I have so much to write about but so little time.  You can expect a few movie reviews soon: Bellflower, Pulp Fiction, Lagaan, and Madrid 1987.  You can also expect a couple of book reviews: Little House of the Prairie, The Neverending Story, and Lonesome Dove.  Also Part 2 of my NFL Draft Review will be posted soon.  Hope you are enjoying the blog and continue to read, as I'm having a great time writing it.  Thanks everyone.

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Thought - Torture

If I've learned one thing as I've grown up it's that there is very little certainty.  I used to be a very black & white person, someone who believed that there were definite answers.  But I've seen how much gray area exists in most subjects, most arguments.  I would say that most topics are conditional, they depend on circumstances, there are things we can't be sure of, there are uncertainties that can never be defined.  And so when faced with a social or moral problem I have a hard time saying "always" or "never".  I may play the devil's advocate sometimes, but it's only because not many issues have perfectly clear cut answers.

That doesn't mean I have floppy morals standards, I can still make statements on my beliefs, they're just often followed by an exception to the rule or an understanding that my view might not cover all bases.  Abortion for example; I would say I'm strictly against it, but I can't make myself get upset about the morning after pill, not because I want to give up my stance on the issue but because I understand that fuzzy areas exist at the edges of my convictions.  Another example would be guns: I'm for strong laws and bans on guns, but I understand why people want them in their homes and can't fault someone for trying to keep them there.

And now we come to the topic of torture.  I have a black & white stance on this, but I can't help seeing a little gray area.  I would say that no one deserves torture, that every human deserves the equal right to be treated like a person, and that no one in authority should have the right to torture some one's body because they have broken a law.  However, what if my kids were taken?  What if someone took my family and I got a hold of one of the perpetrators, would I torture them to make them tell me where my family was?  I think so.  So I can't stand up and so "no torture ever" because I can see myself using it, albeit in a very unlikely fictional scenario.

With the Boston bombings and the subsequent capture of the bomber, this topic has resurfaced.  Some say he should be tortured, that he shouldn't be given his Miranda rights, that he should be a labeled as an "enemy combatant".  But I would say to those people that we cannot forget that he is a human.  He is a young man who did a horrible thing, but he is still a person who deserves to be treated equally.  Does that mean we set him free?  No, he's still allegedly broken the laws that he agreed to live by and should be punished if found guilty, but that doesn't mean that by breaking them he became less deserving of human dignity.  Now, with that said, I don't have the energy to get upset if we torture him.  I see why some people would want to, especially those affected by the bombings and those who fear that it could happen again.  And I guess that's where the gray area comes in; I don't believe in torture, but I'm not running to protect a supposed terrorist.

We all have our moral standards, our concrete beliefs, but I think we all have our gray areas too.  That doesn't mean we're wishy-washy, it means that we are able to understand that our morals come from a very limited viewpoint; our own short lives.  There are things out there that we do not fully understand, and may never be able to grasp until we live through them ourselves.  And so fuzzy edges exist, and maybe that's not a bad thing.  Maybe that keeps us from totalitarian beliefs and ideals that will ultimately lead us wrong.  Maybe gray areas are our own version of checks and balances; a way to make sure we don't forcefully believe in one thing so strongly that we lose sight of the bigger picture.  Sounds good anyway, whether or not it's actually put into practice.

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Thought - Mother's Day

Again, I don't mean to be so cynical, it just comes naturally.  But I have a few thoughts on Mother's Day, and Father's Day for that matter.  First, let me just say that I have a very good mother.  Growing up, I never saw my mom being lazy.  She worked hard every single day not only to make money for our family to survive, but to cook, clean, teach, and to just be present in my life.  And my wife is the most amazing mother I could imagine; I married her for that exact reason, as it was apparent from the start that she would be a perfect companion to have a family with.  She is dedicated, loving, playful, and always treats our children with respect and care.  But like I said, I'm cynical by nature, so even with these two great examples I still feel grumpy come holiday time.

I won't rant about the commercial aspect of Mother's Day, because everyone knows that all festivities are now centered around buying things.  Commercials make you feel like a horrible person if you don't buy your wife and mother diamond necklaces, when all they really want is a hug, an "I love you", and maybe a nice meal.  They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but I've discovered that the way to a woman's heart is through salty snacks and ice cream.  Anyway, of course the American tradition of Mother's Day is a little silly and exploitative, but that doesn't mean we still can't enjoy it.

My main gripe about Mother's Day is the advertising on TV, the radio, by friends on Facebook, during baseball games, seemingly everywhere.  Why does the NFL feel the need to remind people that it's Mother's Day?  Why is it important for people to post "Don't forget your mother"?  Why do we assume that every mother out there is deserving of praise and admiration?  Because, let's be honest, some aren't.  There are a lot of awful moms out there.  Irresponsible, lazy, cruel, non-present, hurtful mothers who didn't earn the right to be adored just because they got knocked up.  That might sound harsh, but having a child doesn't make you a hero.  Being a great mom takes a ton of non-stop work and unconditional love, and some moms are not up to par.

I dedicate this post to my Mom and my wife, two outstanding mothers.  They deserve a special day, a special treat, because they've earned it.  Not every mother has, so we ought not to feel obligated into false sentiment just because the TV tells us so.  Tell your mother you love her today and how thankful you are, but only if you mean it.  And if it's true, shouldn't we be saying it every day?

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Thought - Gays & Sports

In recent years the hot button equal rights issue was "gays in the military", the topic coming to a head with the repealing of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.  Then it was marriage equality, which is up in front of the Supreme Court right now.  The equal rights argument of the future is "gays & sports".  Here are my thoughts on the matter:

Today the very first openly gay athlete to be currently playing on a major American sports team came out of the closet.  Jason Collins will go down in history as a pioneer, although he says he wasn't looking for that title.  You can read the story here, which was done for Sports Illustrated.  This is a pretty big step for the gay community and for equal rights, as it acts as an example for the idea that being homosexual doesn't define who you are; you do.

It's widely believed that football is basically too manly to have any players who are gay.  Recently 49ers defensive back Chris Culliver stated in an interview that, "We ain't got no gay people on the team.  They gotta get up out here if they do.  Can't be with that sweet stuff. ... Nah, can't be ... in the locker room, man."  And as well spoken and extremely interesting as that may be, it's most likely completely false.

You hear different numbers, but a significant portion of Americans are homosexual.  Some studies show that 10% of men are gay, while others show that 4% identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered.  So, for argument's sake, let's just say that one in every twenty Americans is homosexual.  When opening day comes, there will be 1,696 players on active rosters in the NFL.  Throw in players on practice squads and you have about an even 2,000.  Now, that's not counting coaches, free agents, office staff, trainers, owners, etc., that's just players.  If we accept the 5% number, that's roughly 100 gay players in the NFL each season.

Now, someone might argue that professional football attracts less homosexual men than professions like fashion design or musical theatre, and while that's purely a stereotype it's most likely accurate.  So pare that 100 down to 50, or even 25, or even 10, but the fact remains that there are gays in the NFL.  There are gays in the NBA.  There are gays in sports.  Chris Culliver might not believe it, but just ask Jason Collins; it's true.  American sports is the next battleground for equality; the only reason it isn't right now is because no one has come out.  But today someone did, and soon more men will open up to their teammates and admit that they are gay.  I have hope that having an open locker room will be a positive thing, and that the transition will be smooth, but it's hard to tell.  I guess we'll see what the response is like in the NBA, and whether Collins ever gets a job offer again.

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Thought - Red Flags

This is a part thought/part sports post.  Please forgive me for being NFL obsessed right now; with the Draft last night my thoughts are all football-oriented.  This weekend or shortly thereafter should see a a Movie Review and a DVD Review, so bear with me.

My thought today is on red flags in sports.  Not the literal variety, but the kind that pop up and give teams legitimate concerns over the character of potential players.  Take the Draft for example; these NFL scouts examine college players both physically and mentally, and they come away with a composite score, value, or desire.  Of course your college stats matter, your physical stats matter, your Combine times matter.  But what may matter most to a majority of teams is your character, your interview, and your reputation.

Fair or not, this is obviously true in this year's Draft.  Look at the players who fell: DT Sharrif Floyd, who should have gone #3 dropped down to number #23 because of concerns about rule-breaking in the past and whether he can be trusted to toe the line.  QB Geno Smith dropped completely out of the 1st Round partly because NFL teams are worried about his demeanor; he is seen as pouty and uninspired.  And LB Manti Te'o, who we all remember from his over-the-phone dating scandal, remains unpicked after he fails to impress in his last college game, at the Combine, or in interviews, and is commonly seen as having a weak character.

Teams want chemistry in their locker rooms, because chemistry leads to momentum, and momentum leads to success.  Look at teams that have failed with a club full of super-athletic divas; last year's Eagles, this year's Lakers.  You can't just rely on talent to win, you need leadership, cohesion, unity, passion, work ethic, and strong character.  The NFL knows this and they are drafting accordingly.  Geno Smith said he wasn't coming back to NYC for the 2nd Round after being snubbed in the 1st.  Hours later he comes out and says he is after all.  Why?  Because his agent is making him.  His agent knows that teams aren't just looking at his stats, they're looking at how he reacts under pressure and through adversity, because during the season, if he's a starting QB, he's going to see a lot of both.

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Thought - Mommy Guilt

My wife posted a link to an article the other day, and it was very interesting.  You can read it here.  It was a blog post from one of the Mommy Blogs she reads; a blog about kids, pregnancy, motherhood, parenting, etc.  The post was about Mommy Guilt, which I immediately understood.  It's something my wife feels for no reason at all other than because she's a mother.  It's a feeling that she can't shake, a mindset in which she thinks she can't possibly do enough for me or for our kids; guilt over being by herself, guilt over not spending every second with her family, guilt over going to work, guilt over leaving the kids with a grandparent, guilt over getting upset, guilt over not focusing her attention on us every moment of every day.  Basically, Mommy Guilt is feeling guilty for not being superhuman.  And it's not just women themselves who produce the guilt, it's society and other moms as well.  It's a constant pressure to be perfect, to make a perfect choice every time, and to never get distracted, tired, or angry.  Impossible to live up to and impossible to escape.

Now, as a stay-at-home dad, I think I have a unique perspective on this issue.  Not once in my fatherhood have I felt Daddy Guilt.  I know that I work extremely hard for my family and take care of them to the best of my ability.  I love my kids, play with them, teach them, give them what they need, and help to keep them happy, healthy, and secure.  Yes, sometimes I look at my iPhone.  Sometimes I turn on a baseball game in the background.  Sometimes I get mad, make a bad decision, say something I regret, don't know an answer, or just want to be by myself.  This doesn't make me a poor father, it makes me human.

After reading that blog post and thinking about my wife's own guilt, I began to wonder why I don't feel guilty.  Maybe the root of the problem is something sociological, something about men being taught that dominance and confidence are necessary traits, while women are taught subservience.  But a more immediate answer is that no one tells me I should feel guilty, and therefor I don't.  I just can't imagine anyone ever saying that I needed to pay more attention to my kids or that I didn't deserve time alone.  The only things I ever get are, "What a great dad!" or "Your kids are so lucky!".  Wouldn't they be just as lucky if my wife got to stay home instead of me?  Wouldn't she be doing just as good a job?  Wouldn't she need a little break from the kids sometimes?  Why am I a hero for doing what women do every day all over the world?  The answer is that I'm not.  I'm just a normal dad who happens to want to stay home with his kids.  No one should make me feel guilty for not being perfect every day.  But, you see, they don't.  And that's the point.

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Thought - Boston

When a tragedy occurs, my first reaction is cynicism.  I see my lack of compassion as a character flaw that I have to live with, but I don't necessarily think that it makes me a bad person.  There are plenty of helpful and giving people out there who make a difference every day; I just don't happen to be one of them.  Call me callus, but I just don't get very gushy.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that most people don't care so much that it hurts and that most people are as selfish as I am.  I don't see selfishness as evil; you are you and your life, by definition, revolves around you.  And this belief is why I get so cynical and grumpy when I see the masses being falsely sincere and emotional.

Let's look at the recent Boston tragedy, and let's try to keep an open mind.  It was an awful thing that happened.  As the husband of a marathon runner, my mind immediately went to the finish line and picturing myself and my two kids standing there waiting for her to cross.  How horrible it must have been for the people there, their families, and the people of Boston who will be living in fear for quite some time now.  But as bad a thing as it was, it only directly affected a handful of people.  Chances are you weren't there, you didn't know anybody there, and your life has not changed in any way since that day.  So why do you feel the urge to post on FaceBook that you're thinking about Boston today, or that you're praying for some strangers, or that America will get whoever did this and make them pay?  The answer; because you're thinking about yourself.  You're attempting to feel what it might have been like to be there because that makes you feel alive.  You're putting yourself into a group that you're not really a part of because it's nice to be a part of something.  We are all of us very selfish people who show it in very unusual ways.  I just happen to write it on a blog.

Maybe I'm being insensitive.  Maybe it's too soon, or you think you really do care, or it really was that bad.  But I just don't think so.  I think people, especially we as Americans, are extremely short-sighted and that this wasn't really as horrible as we're making it out to be for our own selfish reasons.  Take a look at this article.  I am struck by the quote, "In Syria, it's not Boston every day, but many times per day."  We are extremely lucky to live in this country.  It's far from perfect and let's not kid ourselves and claim that it's the best place in the world, but the majority of us are wealthy, safe, and free.  This is not the case in most countries.  Not every one has terrorist violence every single day, but a lot do.  And so when something bad happens here, when three people die, when we feel a little shaken, we band together and cry and seek justice and feel angry and post things on FaceBook and very soon we forget all about it.  Why?  Because we can.  Because that is a luxury we can afford; forgetting that awful thing that once happened because it only happens once every few years.

I guess my point is that we could all be a little more "real".  The attack in Boston was awful, but worst things happen every day all over the world and we don't even care.  We don't care because we're selfish, because we're safe, because we're us and they're them.  So maybe we should stop saying how horrible we feel, how we'll never forget this, and how tight we are as a country now, when in reality we're getting a little high from the excitement and in six months we won't remember it.  Maybe we shouldn't pretend to be moved by pictures of sobbing families when what we really like are pictures of bloody streets. We are all, selfishly, getting something out of this tragedy, and perhaps that's a cynical thing to say, but then again no one ever accused me of being warm and fuzzy.

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Thought - The Big Bang Theory

I'm no scientist.  And I'm no philosopher.  I'm not extremely educated, I don't claim to know all the answers, nor am I in perfect harmony with nature and its secrets.  I don't know if any of the various multitude of religions are true, I don't know what happens after we die, and I don't know where we came from.  All I have to go on are my own experiences, logic, feelings, and assumptions.

With that said, there is something I believe in with no proof whatsoever, and that's a higher power.  Call it God, god, gods, spirits, who cares.  I believe that there is something out there that I cannot understand and that started life.  I believe evolution is most likely true, the big bang theory is probably right, there could be life on some other planet, and that the universe is currently expanding.  But to me those are just good guesses.  The only truth I think I know about life is that some power began it.

Now, some Christians have a hard time coming to terms with evolution, the big bang theory, and parts of science as a whole.  They feel that these supposed facts threaten their beliefs.  As a person who thinks there is a god, I've always had trouble understanding this.  To me, science is not the pursuit of discrediting religion.  Science is an attempt to understand the world around us, as are most base religions.  Humans need answers, we just look for them in different places.

Let's say the big bang theory is true.  How does this disprove any religion?  Couldn't a god have started the universe in such a way, knowing that life would spring eventually?  Why did he have to literally breath life into an individual human?  And it's a false belief that scientists and philosophers are constantly out to prove that there is no god.  Many of the famous ancient philosophers not only believed in a god but thought that they could prove it through the use of logic.  And I agree; each effect has a cause, even if we can't see it.  What created the universe?  A bang.  What created the bang?  Aliens.  What created the aliens?  Evolution.  What created the alien planet?  A bang.  What created that bang? Other aliens.  Whatever the steps, you always come back to the question of 'who started it?'  I think the answer is some higher power.  If the world started with a bang something had to light the fuse.  Who or what did it?  No one knows and no one ever will.  We have a hard time leaving it at that; we're a curious species.  But we may never find the answer, and we may just have to live with that.

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Thought - Sundays

I don't know why, but Sunday is definitely my laziest  day of the week.  I mean, I still get stuff done, but I am completely unmotivated.  Perhaps I can blame football.  That's all I really want to do; sit down, eat chips, and watch football.  And when I was younger Sundays meant church in the mornings, a big late lunch, and possibly a nap.  So Sundays have always been lazy days for me, and I'm sure they are for a lot of other people too.

In the next couple days you can expect two reviews: a Movie Review of Life in a Day and a DVD Review of Zombie Lake.  Yes, you heard it right, zombies that live in a lake.  I know not everyone is a b-horror fan like I am, but at least the review should be entertaining.  Have a great day and a wonderful week.

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Thought - Easter

If you know me at all, or maybe if you've read enough of my posts, you know that I am not a religious person.  I'd go so far as to say that I am anti-religion.  I believe all religions are fictional and that they create more harm than good.  I understand the reasons why people seek out religion; the desire to feel connected, to be a part of something greater than yourself, to attempt to understand the world around you, to fill a void inside you that is difficult to satisfy.  I get it, I really do, and I find it interesting from a sociological perspective that so many humans believe so many different versions of "how the world came to be".

And, while I am anti-religion, I would say that I know more than the average person about various world religions.  I look at them all as equal mythologies, which has a negative connotation among the people who are practicing them, because they see mythology as fiction and their religion as the truth.  However, mythos is Greek for story, so a mythology is just a collection of stories that explains the world.  Every culture has a mythology, and of course different religions sprang from different culture's myths.  My #2 mythological specialty is Greco/Roman, where I am especially interested in how those myths effect our own culture and language.  My #1 mythological specialty is Christianity, having spent all of my childhood in various churches across the country.  I hold Western Mythology on an equal level with Greek Mythology; both are a culture's attempt to explain the world in a way that can be understood, both have very entertaining stories, and both are entirely fictitious.  The major difference, however, is that the majority of Greeks understood that Zeus wasn't actually living on a mountain and watching their every move.  The Greeks knew that their mythology was just that; stories.  These stories served as a moral compass, and in that way were greatly important.

I view Christianity and the Bible in the same way; as a collection of parables, stories, and lessons that serve as an example for the way our culture should behave.  But being raised in church taught me very quickly that most Christians are not like most Greeks; they believe that their myths are literally true and that all other myths are literally false.  And this isn't true of only American Christians but of almost all modern religious participants.  Believers all over the world are turning to their culture's myths as the true word of their God or gods, excluding all other beliefs as evil, false, or blasphemous.  I use our country as my prime example because that's what I know best, but it's not just the Western World that is so egocentric.  And this sort of religious obsession really limits followers' knowledge of other cultures, world history, and even the origins of their own religious practices.

Easter is a wonderful example of this, and of how Christians specifically have convinced themselves so thoroughly that their religion is the one true myth that they have forgotten that other religions impacted theirs and that their messiah might not be the reason for every season.  I wrote about this phenomenon as it relates to Christmas as well, which you can read about here, but, since today is Easter, let's look at a few misconceptions Christians have about this holiday.

• This day, Easter Sunday, has zero historical significance.  Had Jesus of Nazareth been a real person and had he actually risen from the dead, that fact would have nothing to do with this date.  At the First Council of Nicaea, it was decided that Easter would be celebrated on the first Sunday after the full moon following the vernal equinox.  The date moves every year and is completely arbitrary.  So, if Jesus did indeed come back to life, he did not do so exactly 1,983 years ago on this date.  As a Christian, you could celebrate the resurrection of Christ next week, last week, basically any time you want to.
• This date was chosen by the Council because it was already an established pagan holiday.  The Germans had for centuries been celebrating springtime, the equinox, new life, and new growth at this time.  As with Christmas, Christians choose this time to be the date of their holiday not because it was actually when an event from the Bible occurred, but because so many people were already celebrating something.  The two ideas, Resurrection and spring, were successfully melded together, and so now many Christians believe that Jesus is, once again, the reason for the season, but he just isn't; he was added in to a preexisting holiday in order for the Church to get more publicity.
• Even the term "Easter" is pagan.  It comes from the Germanic goddess Eostre, who was celebrated during the spring equinox.  Basically, the pagans chose the date, created the celebration, and named it after their deity.

 

It's one thing to believe that one religion is true and the rest are not, and it's another to shut your eyes to the history of the world.  No, Christians did not invent Easter.  No, Jesus is not the reason for the season.  Just like Christmas, other cultures were already celebrating at this time and a new religion decided to claim the holiday as its own.  It actually worked very well and was a smart move on the part of the Christians, even if they couldn't eradicate the pagan traditions totally.  That's why, in America, our traditional Easter celebration is a combination of religious and cultural practices; church, eggs, rabbits, Jesus, grass, chicks, feasts, etc.  This is what America is; a tossed salad of traditions that combine in interesting ways.  I don't see anything wrong with this, but don't tell me that Easter is all about Jesus while stuffing your mouth with Peeps.  Attempt to understand that your religion is not the only one that exists in the world.  It was created and impacted by so many different cultures that it can never be truly independent.  We can argue whether or not it's true another time.

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